Four years ago I was sitting calmly in my living room knowing that something was about to happen. I wasn’t in pain. I had not even had a contraction yet, but I knew. I knew she would be coming soon. I had made Alex stay home from work being so sure in my feeling that today was the day. Luckily he did. 3pm heralded the first contraction, and 9:45pm brought me my perfectly feisty little girl. She was born in our living room. A planned home birth. After my traumatic labour with Emma it was so very comforting to be in my home. My mom was able to get an update a minute from my amazing friend who was there for it all. The webcam was turned on the moment Sara was brought into the world, and for the first time since living in Scotland I felt my mom there with me, where she should be. By my side as I have babies of my own.
Emma slept soundly through it all not even knowing what the night had brought yet. Within moments of Sara being in this world I was showered and cuddled with her in our bed, feeding, looking, smiling, crying, and overwhelmed by her perfectness. Everyday since then she has made me smile. She has filled my world with laughter and silliness when I needed it most. And now she is 4.
I will never forget the moment Emma and Sara met for the first time the following morning.
Or the way Sara’s hair stood on end no matter what you did to try and tame it.
Her look of sheer joy that she still does, even now.
Her first steps.
I hope in the future that she continues to deepen the bond between herself and her big sister. That they are always there for each other. To guide, or to lean on when needed.
I hope she always stops to enjoy the moment she is in.
I hope that she is always curious. Always wanting to know more, learn more, experience more.
I hope she is always feisty. Passionate and steadfast. Sure of who she is and never forgets how astounding she is.
And above all I pray that she will always reach out for our hands. To walk with her when needed. To guide her when she doesn’t know the way, to be dragged along in her excitement, and one day to pass her hand to someone else.
Happy Birthday Sara Bear. Always and forever, momma. Xoxo